Men I’ve Never Been

In Men I’ve Never Been, Sadowski meditates on the power of real human connection and the traumas caused by toxic masculinity. By turns comic and tragic, this nuanced memoir uncovers the false selves we create to get along in the world and the price we pay to maintain them.

 

 

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About

Each chapter of Men I’ve Never Been highlights a different image of manhood that Michael Sadowski saw at school, at home, or on television but could never emulate: from sports heroes, hunters, and game show hosts to his charismatic but hard-drinking father. Through wrenching tragedy and the denial of his sexual identity, Sadowski learns how not to hurt, cry, laugh, or love. Gradually, he retreats behind a stoic mask of silence, outwardly well-functioning but sinking under the weight of his past.

In Men I’ve Never Been, Sadowski meditates on the power of real human connection and the traumas caused by toxic masculinity. By turns comic and tragic, this nuanced memoir uncovers the false selves we create to get along in the world and the price we pay to maintain them. It’s published as part of the Living Out series by University of Wisconsin Press.

Praise & Reviews

“A powerful, beautiful sock in the stomach of a memoir. It’s filled with living, breathing, three-dimensional people, settings that are so vivid they have a cinematic quality, refrains and reprises that give the whole story a musical coherence. The ending will leave readers in a state of—I don’t know what—grief? joy? wonder? hope? All of those and more. I can imagine this book changing lives.”—Domenica Ruta, author of the New York Times bestselling memoir With or Without You and the novel Last Day

“A compelling and exceedingly well-written memoir that is, at times, as heart-wrenching and hilarious as any book I’ve read in a very long time. Sadowski is a craftsman; there’s so much earned empathy and experience in here that it’s hard to overstate.”—Jared Yates Sexton, author of The Man They Wanted Me to Be and American Rule

“Sadowski’s memoir offers something timely and new. His deep understanding of human development as essentially relational is groundbreaking. Men I’ve Never Been is a lovely read: gracefully written, resonant and poignant, filled with emotionally wrought stories that will stay with me for a long time.”—Michael Reichert, author of How to Raise a Boy: The Power of Connection to Build Good Men

“A thoroughly enjoyable and relatable story of never feeling like you fit in, like you’re failing to be the person society demands you to be. Expect to be surprised at how frequently Sadowski captures a feeling or moment you experienced but never put words to.”—Jim Obergefell, lead plaintiff in Obergefell v. Hodges and coauthor of Love Wins

“Michael Sadowski’s memoir is warm and welcoming—a comfort in a world that is often neither.”—Michael Elias, Foreword Reviews